I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
