What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
