:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
