I wish I could punch you in the face.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
