he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
