my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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