Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
