There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
