Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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