I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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