She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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