i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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