dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
