the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
