i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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