seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
