Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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