so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
