I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize