Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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