I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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