I think I won the penis lottery.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
nutella sex= disaster
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
