So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
