Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
