I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
