butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
