just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
