big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
