after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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