they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
