i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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