I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
