I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
