he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
