When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
