the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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