I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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