what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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