Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
