All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
