this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
