That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
me + whiskey = a bad person
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
