i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
