Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She told me I should be a condom model.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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