Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
