A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
