she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
