I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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