We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
