Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
