does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
