Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
