Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
