Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My hand turned me down
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize