well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
