Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
