Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
