Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
