The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize