You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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