You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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