he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
