I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
