Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
