it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
